Wednesday, April 27, 2011

A Restless Patriot Rant: Ugly Mothers





A self-respecting mother will make her child proud.


At the risk of sounding OLD (I'm only 49!) I want to rant about something that's been bugging me, today it's not about politics or popular culture icons, but it's about us.  

It's. About. Moms.

I have been noticing something the last few years, and it makes me really sad, disappointed.  I am not the type to think that whenever one steps outside the house, they should be fashionable and chic, fully made up and dressed formally-- but it makes me really wonder where our society is going when I see women (of all ages!) even with child(ren) in tow wearing the following:

  • Big, ugly tattoos everywhere (is that attractive?!)
  • Multiple piercings on the face and/or tongue
  • pink, purple, bright red, yellow or blue or ? hair
  • jeans that are way too small, too low
  • pajama pants or pajamas as an outfit
  • tops that leave NOTHING to the imagination (WHY do you think I want to see your boobs or your big fat rolls?!)
  • Sweat pants worn on a daily basis at schools!  


I have noticed this over time and wonder, where are we headed?  Usually, the children in tow of such women like this are less than pleasant to be around, too.  

I know we are less formal than our parents were, Donna Reed we are not.  But what's wrong with being clean, neat, presentable, wearing clothing that fits your body, and not revealing all the ugly parts of one's fat to the world?  

I am not beautiful, nor am I a fashion plate, I am not even halfway to chic, but I am clean and I present myself with some sense of pride to the world when I go to the mall, the grocery store and to run errands or to church--and at work when I had a job outside the home.  Unless it were a dire emergency, I would have at least mascara, some eyeliner and some lipstick on my face before I stepped into the outside world.

Never before has our population been given so MANY choices in clothing, hairstyles, makeup, and exercise and entertainment.  It's not expensive to look decent--or clean.  Never before have we accepted so much that looks slovenly and sloppy.

I love it when I see a nicely dressed, clean family, it leaves me with hope that we all don't go down the road of ANYTHING goes, and that we can teach our children that there are certain things or looks that you DON'T wear outside the home.  

(I am in no way criticizing the working man with dirt on his shoes, clothing or hands...working men are to be respected and admired and I do not mind seeing them ANYWHERE.)

Not long ago, I was watching the news and the subject was organic food, clothing, etc...and they interviewed a "slob" --she was just a mess--of a mother like I have been seeing out and about and she was talking about our food and what's in it, with BRIGHT PINK HAIR!  How messed up is that?!  (I am not sure, but I don't think PINK hair is very organic, do you?)

It is up to us, as mothers, to teach and model from childhood, the attitude that we need to respect ourselves AND OTHERS enough to be as clean and decent as we can be, when we go out into the world.  Is that too much to ask?

We have to be the guides...to teach what respecting ourselves means and what taking pride in our appearance means.  It's not what the movie stars show us, NO, so few of us can--or want to--achieve that.  

It's everyday values that comes with spending time and putting the energy into caring.


I want the world to be a good place for this little guy...

(There, I feel better now, this post has been gurgling 'round in my brain for quite some time now...Hope I didn't sound too codger-ish!!

I guess I really shouldn't just pick on women, the other day at the mall, I had to really talk myself out of going up to a young man to tell him his WHOLE BOTTOM was hanging out of his pants and I could see ALL of his boxers.  HOW does one walk around like that?!

This winter, at a basketball game, during halftime, there were kids from another school on the court shooting baskets, three of them young men with their hineys exposed in the same way.  My husband, bless his heart, is old-fashioned enough for this to make him really mad.  He cupped his hands, and yelled from the bleachers:  "Pull up your pants or get OFF THE COURT!!!"  They looked up at him, and surprised that someone would say anything, reached back and pulled up their pants.  I then yelled "THANK YOU!".

My son in law, who is former military,  if he is stopped at a light in his big huge work truck, and sees young men with their "pants on the ground" will yell out the window at these punks to pull up their STUPID PANTS....I give him credit for that.  He says that all young men should serve two years in the military once they leave school and there would be NONE of this once a kid has been in the military.)

31 comments:

Tammy said...

Well said Mama. Have you ever received one of those Walmartians emails of the unsavory folks found in local Walmarts? Thats what your post brought to my mind. I have the same doubts concerning this generation. May I add that their attitudes stink as well. Many seem to be very self-absorbed,shallow, even mean spirited. Their biggest concerns are for themselves and their phones(and other electronics.) This constant texting drives me crazy! They seem to be out of touch with what's really important in life. (or maybe its us joni?!

Loved the pictures on the mountain top. Makes you long for days gone by, huh?

Congrats on the new baby!

Tammy

Dawn Dutton said...

Amen!
My feelings exactly!

Anonymous said...

Well said!! I am 31 and I feel the same way! What is wrong with people today...no self respect! I totally agree with you!

Lizzy

Flipfloppingmamma said...

I agree!! I'm in my mid 30's and I think the same way. I know we all have our moments but come on! How much effort can it take to put on a pair of dark jeans and a nice crew neck tshirt. Wear some nice sandals and earrings and a very simple casual outfit you have!

We (not me and you) are that fat sloppy america that other countries make fun of. sigh....

ctgardengirl said...

I agree totally. In fact, I laughed out loud when I read the part where you said "Why do they think I want to see their boobs?" I've been saying this for the past few years. It's everywhere you go. WAY too much skin showing. I think there are parts of a person that needs to be kept private.
Perhaps I am a product of our generation, in a sense. I am 46, and my parents brought me up to be modest (even though I tested that time and again as a teenager). I would never DREAM to where a shirt where my cleavage showed in front of them. I would be too embarrassed. I'm glad that the jeans that show half your bum when you bend over are slowly going away too. I do NOT need to know that detail either, lol! Thank you for your rant, now I don't have to do it. :0))

Our Country Bungalow said...

Ok, have you been eavesdropping on our family conversations?! Because you sound too much like me...
There is too much to be said about this subject to be covered in a comment box! But let's just say I am in complete agreement.
Excellent post!
~cathy

lil red hen said...

A great big AMEN!!!!

gailsgarden said...

A sad commentary on our society!

Anonymous said...

I love reading your rants! Your words are what I'd say if I were able to say it so well!

Mare

Brenda Evans said...

I totally agree with you Joni. Waaaay toooooo much skin showing and I am not a prude but give me a break. I don't need to see your underwear or anything half in the underwear. My mom always said they make soap and water for a reason. There is no excuse for the way some people go out in public. And while we are at ranting - what's up with the B O from men these days. Good grief, I have had to get off an elevator more than a few times before I completely upchucked. I guess I shouldn't lay it just on the men - women too. That just totally turns me off - mostly from breathing.

Amanda Myers said...

Well said, Joni! I was raised very poor but my mother taught us that we must look tidy and clean no matter what! It doesnt take money to look presentable...I teach my children the same thing. It doesnt take anymore time to put on a nice shirt and pants than it does to put on a paid of spongebob pajama pants! My kids actually bring me the clothes they want to wear for the day and ask me to iron them, I am not embarrassed to say that it thrills me :)

window into our life of love, joy, and adventures! said...

I applaud you! Well written and expressed!

Ironstone and Pine said...

I second those emotions!!!

Amy @ Homestead Revival said...

Well, at first I was going to fill my entire comment box with the word AMEN, but then I thought that might be a bit excessive and over the top. If only you could see my vital signs as I read such an post! I could't agree more and believe me, with three daughters (who are very compliant and respectful to me) we've had more than our share of discussions about this very topic. I'm not saying they always WANTED to do what I said in regards to this, but in the end they have begun to understand and agree. Especially my 18 year old who recently told me that she was going to take it up a notch and think more about how she presented herself when out in public - "you know, Mom, like put together a bit more". YES!!! Score! (She listened to a CD I had stored away by Nancy Leigh DeMoss on the same subject and was convicted).

All this to say, so little is still "lovely" today and it's no wonder the boys are fleeing from marriage when there are no "maidens" to rescue and impress.

Anna Joy said...

I feel the same way you do!!! (And I'm only 23...) I hated seeing all the sloppy mothers at the school. It really upsets me that no one has pride in themselves anymore. When I was (even) younger, I dressed like that. Everything out for the world to see...I hate that I did that now. I remember the librarian at school was so upset for me. She just prayed that I'd grow to have some self respect. I have some self respect now, and I hope to GOD my children will have some as well.

Susie said...

I couldn't agree more!!!! My husband and I were just discussing this same subject. I will add to that "Ugly Mother" syndrome is the foul mouths and ugly behavior in public as well. I just want to cringe! Wonderful post.

Anonymous said...

Well said, I have a hard time with everybody having tattoos but now I can overlook a few tattoos but why would anybody pierce so many places on their face and the gauges (holes) in their ears is beside me. By the way I live in Va in a farmhouse and have a blue 67 mustang convertible. Mary

Southern Sassafras said...

I would like to add that just because you DO have tattoos, piercings and colored hair doesn't make you a bad mom or a person with no self respect. Some people do find tattoos and attractive. Including myself. However, I never look sloppy when I go out, and I always have makeup on. And I do have a circle of friends who have more tattoos than me and a crazy hair color. And they are some of the best moms, their children behave, unlike some "put together families" I have seen.

saracocarus said...

Thanks for sharing, glad to know it is'nt only me who feels this way!I know raising children isn't easy, it is a constant battle of minds and wills. Hopefully in the end of the process a young, talented, prideful, respectful, human being will emerge form all of the "hard" work. And it is hard work. You have to sacrific to raise children, your life has to come second.I was so blessed this past Easter Sunday to have all of my children and granchildren attend church together and dressed appropriate. Take a look at my pic on my blog if you would like- salmon falls prims. Keep on keeping on and be a good example to your grandchildren!

Buttonchief7 said...

Great piece. Since we got satellite tv with all the cooking shows I'm just shocked at how immodest the women dress. Renamed it cooking with hookers. LOL Seems like people who dress like slobs also act accordingly. Sad society.

Jeanette said...

Very well said! One of my pet peeves is seeing young men walking around with their pants hanging off of their rear ends! If they could only see how stupid it looks!

Joy said...

Howdy Joni. Great post and I agree TOTALLY...EVERY WORD. I hate those pyjamas women wear in public, they drag the ground and are filthy. Yep, the boobs and too much skin exposed--and I've seen young women who COULD be attractive if they'd just clean up! One person here mentioned tatoos...sorry, but remember when men and Nazi Concentration Camp survivors were the only ones with tatoos? Tatoos used to be considered for the 'rough' crowd, tatoos are a form of defacement. Oh, and another thing before someone collars me on being 'judgemental'... I CAN make a JUDGEMENT... we all make judgements every day on just about virtually any subject or issue or choice. Okay, now I'm getting on a soapbox. You said it like it is, sistah.

Loretta said...

Oh my! I couldn't agree with you more! Bless you for having the guts to write what so many of us are thinking!!!

Kathie Truitt said...

How dare you get in my head and reveal my thoughts! Ha - Oh my goodness Joni, I couldn't agree more. I seriously think this is one of the things that is wrong with this country. Thank you for saying this.

Tanya said...

You Go Girl! I applaud your soapbox and the words spoken!
You can't imagine the "mom" outfits I get that show up to my classroom. It is my "AHA!" moment...I then understand exactly why their child wears what they wear, talks like they talk, and unfortuantely cannot help look the way they look. Mommas definitely need to set a good example for their little innocent precious girls.
What has this world come to?

Flipfloppingmamma said...

I was at McD's today (only place in town with Wifi) blogging and 2 women came in with a small child. Both women looked horrible. Pierced, tats and looking like they had just crawled out of bed at 10:30am. They both talked on their phone and to each other using all kinds of words. Then one says, 'I won't eat F*in fish from a lake or river. It's GROSS! I'll only eat fresh fish from McD's or fish sticks." ???? I thought of you and your blog post. Sad sad sad!

Southern Sassafras said...

Joy, I just have to comment back, tattooing has been around long before the Nazi's were. If it is defacing your body then isn't ear piercing? Or dying your hair? Permanent or not, it's changing something that is not natural to your body. Just because someone has tattoos doesn't mean you should count them out.

Busy As Can Be said...

I LOVED YOUR POST! I total agree and if this was facebook I'd be clicking on the thumb up like button!

Debbie said...

I agree with you, and by the way that is a beautiful photo of your little grandson. Yes, what we're seeing exercised in the culture today is far more sinister than 'tacky' or 'bad taste'. While it is that, it is a sign of a generation(s) that no longer hold any value in values. Common 'hygiene' is gone with the wind and modesty something they are no longer familiar with. I grieve too for the world my grandchildren will be growing up in and the bad news is? I don't expect it's going to improve.
I blame public school for a lot of this; at one time they set rules for dress and behavior that often was higher than homes required. Daily bible verse and pledge to allegiance taught kids an awareness of God and country even when they came from homes without those values. Now with the school having removed God from that realm and making themselves the teacher of social decline, our young people are the product of their teachers, as were their parents.
I'm not saying the school was responsible for these things, but it cannot be denied that they are in the forefront of the failure.

Lori said...

My daughter and I were just having a similar conversation. It came up while driving to get a pizza. Where we live, the pizza places employ young teenage girls to dance, yes dance, on the side of the road wearing whatever they want to wear I guess. WHY IS IT ACCEPTABLE FOR A YOUNG GIRL TO BE SHAKING HER BUTT ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD? We go to the mall, store, where EVER and since the weather has started to warm up, the girls are wearing nothing. Everything is hanging out, falling out, spilling out. And WE have to look at it. It gets so aggrivating. It's so sad. What is our world coming to? I hopped on the soapbox with you...sorry.
Blessings,
Lori

Anonymous said...

I believe what she is referring to is the crazy tats, like tattoos on your neck or up and down your body. I don't think she is discrediting tattoos in general. I mean, we all know the stereotype. The woman with wild children, who dresses in less clothes than a child on the beach and with tattoos all over her body. Personally , I think tattoos should be kept private unless certain situation call for it. My husband has a tattoo, but he would never wear a tank top and expose it at his child's school. there is a time for everything. And, I think that pajamas at the grocery, even if it is Walmart, is disgusting. I saw a women in pajamas AND slippers!!! It's the fact that these women look like smoking, drinking, tattoo covered women with horrendous kids and they usually are cussing and speaking incorrect english. It's a stereotype, but let's face it, it's out there. Which makes me crazy, b/c you can buy clothes, nice looking clothes, at Walmart and Kmart for a decent price. And poor has nothing to do with dirty, which my mother, who was raised poor, always says. Also, don't you find more of these women at the Walmart stores at the first of the month, when their welfare checks come in? I personally would LOVE to see a mother, on welfare, at the store buying healthy food for her kids, with a conservative shirt on. I know they're out there, they just don't get credit.